As will have become apparent to mathematical minds, an October 96 days long would end on Christmas. But why stop there? Isn’t Halloween the only holiday we really need? It’s just like Christmas, with all of the candy and none of the religion. We can add in the gifts, no problem. Ray Bradbury wrote a number of stories suggesting the limitless extension of Halloween. And Bradbury sounds much like Cadbury, which is a candy bar. Verbum sap. (That’s Latin for, coincidence, or what?)
Are any holidays slated to survive the general autumnal shambles? Our friend and contributor Elsie Schrotthaufen says, “Just my birthday.” But her birthday isn’t in October. “I don’t care,” she pronounced with an air of infallibility. That settled that.
Well, what about Easter? We like the bunnies and the candy eggs. How can Easter be reconciled with Halloween? With a hammer? We’ll sort that out come spring. We hope.