The Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man: His Legend

Anciently, when God did ordain
to claim this drear and waste domain
Him did it please to bid his saints
against all pleading abject ‘plaints
to sojourn here ‘cross cruel sea
to raise The Cross for all to see.

A thousand beasts with blood-damp chins
ten thousand gibb’ring Indians
a frozen land, a ruthless sky
brought bitter tears to ev’ry eye.
But something more ill bowered here
to breed in saints a holy fear.

No savage mur’drous picaroon
nor dire eclipses of the moon
nor leons nor leviathans
nor vandal hordes nor heathen huns
did cause more quailing terror than
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

Some swore this wight was naught but air
which issueth from serpent’s lair,
and others claimed the visions vile
were nauseous fumes, telluric bile.
Still others laughed the thought away
yet did he haunt and hunt his prey.

An hundred years passed now apace
sith saints had conquered this new place.
An hundred years did roll away
now commonwealth in its heyday
grew fattish, vain, waxed like the moon
which to a sliver withers soon.

To things of faith, to hymn and prayer
these follied folk gave not a care.
Most shamefully young wives and girles
loved more their ribbands and their pearls.
So watched each Sarah, Jane, and Nan
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man

Whence this monstrous permutation?
In what womb his generation?
Was he born into this world
or from a passing comet hurled?
Will the secret pages yield
or is his tome forever sealed?

Was he spawn of Lapland witch
or the whelp of slav’ring bitch
mated moonwise, or the get
of mumbo-jumbo black as jet
of Pictish priest bedaubed with woad
or was an egg his first abode?

Slithered he from burst cocoon
in the lea of drifting dune?
Was eye on ancient pyramid
witness to his birth, or did
he live before time began
this Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man?

Now hear the dread particulars
of happ’nings ‘neath malefic stars
how lovely maid by name of Kate
fell, and falling, sealed her fate;
of disobedience and its pain
of sin’s black touch and seeping stain.

Creeping, spavined, skin and bone
came to Kate a neighbor crone.
She dreweth forth a weighty book
and sheweth for a fleety look
a picture there, an image of
woeful, grievous, gorgonic love.

Tho’ Kate drew back to shield her eye
she gave a grue, a mewling cry.
Too late, too late, this baleful art
had hooked its talons in her heart.
So came from damned Alcoran
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man

She juddered, blenched, nigh to swooning.
Tho’ all was still, she heard his crooning
a far-off bruit, as hounds to stag.
A closer clamor did make her swag
and hand grew weak and pulse did race
to see that lewdly leering face.

She sent away the cackling hag
yet slumbered not, her bed a quag.
The moon arose, refulgent globe
while Kate a comely female Job
lay drenched in sweat, a writhing wretch
first fetal, closed, then wild outstretched.

The watchman heard the bandog howl
the wauling cat and hooty owl.
The leaves on hoary oak tree limbs
quivered, chanting ghostly hymns
to him, the Laird of demon clan
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man

When next did Phoebus slow descend
cried piteous Kate – O Lord forfend!
Preserve, protect, this palsied girle
who feeleth banners dire unfurl.
Keep hence the black and shining one
whose eye doth glister like the sun.

But all was vain and once again
a preternatural darkness came.
An ague clutched her, held her close.
Infernal trumpets, grandiose
played fanfares only she could hear
to bold proclaim her time was near.

And sitting up in clammy bed
as fiendish tabors beat her head.
She saw, tho’ eyes were closed fast.
She saw, tho’ heartsick and aghast.
She saw, and soul was clove in twain
by Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

Prodigious and malevolent
a baleful sign, a fell portent
a louring look, a gravid eye
the optick spheroid loomed nigh.
The fev’rish orb which streamed with rays
now trammeled her in noisome gaze.

Tho’ mummy-wound in dampish sheets
she rose and fell in heaving heats.
The bedshrouds all were burned away
as dew on dawn of summer’s day.
Invading deep his vision darts
pierced throat and breast and tender parts.

So to complete his carnal crime
as in creation’s natal time
when Adam saw his naked Eve
and swift as thought to her did cleave
likewise this cruel panopticon
this Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

Then from the Great Afflicting Eye
came a voice to mollify
to stroke heartstrings as seraphim
which harp in heaven plangent hymn.
And so from bed did Kate arise
and walk beneath the starry skies.

Her sleeping dress yet fell away
and went she in sly-clad array.
Above her sable welkin arched
while through the weeds and woods she marched
condemned yet fervent, so it seemed
to mount the scaffold of her dreams.

The twin globes glowed, a lure for she
like as a sundered Gemini.
The lunar orb, the lustful eye
were side by side, in harmony,
monstrous moon, febrile and wan,
and Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man

Just once at midnight’s tolling bell
she shivered, wrestling off the spell
rebelling, brief, she fought and lost
resisting him, at what a cost.
Pinches, mischiefs, sundry bite
were her reward for bootless fight.

So anon she reached the place
where Kate completeth her disgrace.
A massy oak, black as the tomb
above her, vast and sere it loomed.
And from a branch hangeth a rope
and from this hanged the death of hope.

For there it was now twelve years gone
another girle at crack of dawn
was found dependent, lifeless fruit
above the writhing, snaky root
her death the work of artisan
called Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

The eye’s refulgence trebled as
an husband’s ardor when it has
been rebuffed and thrice denied
by winsome, teazing furtive bride
and to the virgin marriage bed
he speeds, and soon is daubed red.

The girle took hold of ragged noose
and placed it ‘round her throte yet loose.
Then sudden skirling music came
of pipes and nakers to inflame
her writhing self, and so she danced,
his odalisque, fawning, entranced.

Afflicted thus, this serpentine
and bestial spree, this jig malign
roiled outward from her ‘sorceled loins
as incubus with sleeper joins.
And so continued damned pavan
with Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

And keenly now, Kate chanted back
a descant tune demoniack.
Deep from her issueth the song
a thousand echoes from a gong
that hangs within the citadel
of dankest, drearest, deepest Hell.

The rope withal did tight enclose
and pulled her up upon her toes.
She dangled wailing pagan psalms
obeisant blessings and salaams
to Pasha of Opthalmick Love
and all the attributes thereof.

Gasping, grasping, now for him
dependent there from oaken limb
the base lubricious undulation
naked blasphemous flirtations
in the manner of courtesan
for Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

He swelled, and swollen, threw off sparks
as those which shot from ancient ark
that Israel did hold so dear,
commanding total awe and fear,
billowed, thundered, flashed, and roared
with the presence of the Lord

Or as a comet blots the skies
and the heathen terrifies
a blinding omen, mark of doom
from the blackness closer looms
so did the Eye most fulgurous
wax as a rakeshame nemesis.

Sphering round this lesser sun
circumscribed oblivion
stretched taut, a membrane like a drum
head, spotless, weightless pure vellum
comprised the girth of glaring gland
of Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

As man o’ war with brassy ordnance
doth pound his foe to make her dance
blasting cannon, hail of shot
ball and bullet, crimson hot.
In such manner did her suitor
cruelly vex and persecute her.

She took the salvoes and she shook
twisted on this angler’s hook.
raptured, ravished, did she squirm
stript and moist, a wanton worm
bait to catch most precious game
yet fish and fisher were the same.

Choked at end of hempen cord
blessing him ‘gainst whom she warred
an hour ago or eons past
across a space ungodly vast
Kate surrendered to all demands
of Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

With fervent cry she yielded all
capitulated to the call
submitted to her whilom foe
taking cruel bastinado
flung wide back her blissom limbs
and opened self to welcome him.

The instant rupture paroxysm
flooding ocular baptism
bursting Eye, deluging rheum
vitreous matter, flooding spume
bubbling gouts of glowing plasm
exploded forth in spewy spasm.

Steaming jets of gleaming gleet
boiling with supernal heat
sweet and grievous, grumey glair
roared in torrents through the air
in an instant all to drain
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

So quickly did her anointment
daub her all with shining ointment,
honey basted, rare sweetmeat
golden glazed with sugar sleet.
So sudden was she complete bedewed
she hanged in gravid hebetude.

And spectral leman too was sated
in this manner to be mated.
Egg and sperm in one fluid}
like potations of the Druid
or the fabled Alkahest
which Gothick wizard once possessed.

Thus the climax of their love
he below and she above}
bedizened with his dripping jewels
while at her feet the ichor pools
Thus it ends as it began
with Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

But hold, tho’ both were spent, agog
yet there is an epilogue.
Kate against all hope did live
and of these circumstances give
her testimony, wild and queer
blist’ring ev’ry list’ning ear.

She waxed old and oft retold
her tale in tongue surprising bold.
Her inmost soul was stung by pride
to be the chosen wanton bride
the one whose consecrated coney
was surfeited with radiant honey.

Did she bear his heinous child?
Was her matrix so defiled?
Slunk she off for vicious birth?
Did their bastard walk the earth?
No one knoweth other than
the Hypmogoogoopizin’ Man.

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