The dire rhymes of Th. Metzger

Gimme Candy

You got your meat and potatoes,
red hot tomatoes,
Big hunks of barbecued prime alligator,
Bagels crusty thick with poppy seeds.
I don’t want any that junk.
Gimmee some good old geedunk,
Candy is the food that I need.

I got a Hershey bar and licorice whips,
Jujubes and black wax lips.
That’s the stuff that makes a man a man.
Forget your vegetable and you’ll be free,
You don’t need no vitamin C.
Eat your candy every chance you get.

Candy is the best thing yet
She’s the thing I gotta get,
Candy is the greatest good of all.
Good and Plenty, Mike and Ike,
That’s the stuff you know I like.
Shut your mouth and hear Candy’s call.

Candy says “on your knees,
Close your eyes, open sesame.
Here comes Candy glowing like the sun.”
Sweet as honey, rich as money,
Sexy like a Playboy bunny.
Candy is my one oblivion.

Codeine and Corn Liquor

There is a house deep underground
The mem’ry hole, my lost and found
And there my waiting spirit bleeds,
Codeine and corn liquor, that’s what I need.

Lord send your liquid angels down to me here
To kill me of this pain and cleanse me of this fear.
I want no smack, I want no speed,
Codeine and corn liquor, that’s what I need.

I found this house in dust and ash
I dug my way through bones and trash,
I chanted loud the ancient creed
Codeine and corn liquor, that’s what I need.

Lord send your liquid angels down to me here
To kill me of this pain and cleanse me of this fear.
I want no crack, I want no weed
Codeine and corn liquor, that’s what I need.

Party with Hitler’s Dog

Blondie will be your party guide
With Xyclon B and some cyanide
Blondie says, “Hey, let’s all play dead
Put that Luger to your head.”

It’s time to party with Hitler’s dog.
It’s a hot time in the Fuhrer Bunker tonight.
Everybody get together, step into the light
It’s party time with Blondie, Hitler’s dog.

Eva Braun is the blushing bride,
A Prussian blonde from that peroxide.
Come on Nazi Party girl, crack open that keg.
Get on your hands and knees and beg.

It’s time to party with Hitler’s dog.
It’s a hot time in the Fuhrer Bunker tonight.
Everybody get together, step into the light
It’s party time with Blondie, Hitler’s dog.

Wir Haben speilzeit und etwas suss
Wir konnen spass machen, und wir muss.
Aber die Russin Heer kommt aus dem Ost.
Unser Gesellschaft is geschlost.

It’s time to party with Hitler’s dog.
It’s a hot time in the Fuhrer Bunker tonight.
Everybody get together, step into the light
It’s party time with Blondie, Hitler’s dog.

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