(part 2 of Eidolon Acres)
The smell of wet dog and burning fungus can mean only one thing: the Emissary Doll has entered your waking dream.
Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! Can’t have our newest addition getting tossed into the bone box on day one. No, don’t bother getting dressed yet. Somebody needs a bath!
Got to wash off that fish taint. Not that your classmates care cause believe me they don’t, but lately the school’s had an infestation of pox frogs. Those buggers get one whiff of your funk and they’ll be all over you like flies on pus. Even melt your teeth, for real! But not to worry. Brought along a pair of Kive Weepers from the spa to lick you clean and freshen you up. Now lie down and let them work you over while I tell you how the day will play out.
Because it’s your first day you get to sit in the bus. But don’t get too comfy; soon as more fresh meat drops down the chute, it’ll be your turn to be play donkey.
After a bumpy ride through Helminth Heights we’ll arrive at your new Alma Mater: Gramma Kissy-Burn’s Precious Cargo Reintegration Camp. Here in Eidolon Acres all our charm schools are blue ribbon caliber, but Gramma’s is known throughout the county as the gold standard. So lucky you. Her Reparative Talent Shows always draw the biggest crowds; each of her Preceptor Wyrms are double pedigreed; and Team Ankle Biters won the county Shanking Bee six seasons in a row! (This year the kids go up against Gramma Adalwolfa’s Little Blessings Learning Center. What a bloodbath that’ll be.) Anyway, here’s where you’ll be logging those reprocessing hours until you pass the Spiritual Hygiene Exams. Careful, don’t step on the frogs.
As the school’s Imperatrix, Gramma Kissy-Burn is one busy lady–but she’ll make a point of personally welcoming you. Hop onto her lap; just don’t get ensorceled by her wandering eye. Once Uncle Bustard and Sweet-baby Peedles (her two advisors) have whispered your future into her ear, she’ll brand you forever by planting a kiss on your forehead, a scar you’ll wear with pride.
Before you begin your studies, a quick breakfast in the cafeteria.
Followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. When everyone’s finished, the School Bug crawls off the flag and rewards whoever chanted the loudest with a special bite. All day the lucky student will get to wear Oblation Boots, receive extra rations, and be free from harassment by the Collection Boys.
Time time for Show and Tell where your peers tell tales about their most prized possessions.
In Orthography class you’ll be presented with your personalized Memory Imp. As you write down your life history in a hornbook, your words will turn to tears which will fill the mason jar. Once it’s full the Imp will drink it all down and your memories will be…well, a distant memory! Poof! Gone for good. Overnight the imps are milked, the tears expressed into Eidolon reservoir where they’re made potable. (Yes, that’s why our water’s got that hint of salt. Explains why we cry in our sleep too.) You’ll do this every day until your past is as white and empty as a milky cataract.
To be continued in the next issue!